Heart Stop 911

Spotting between your periods? Period a few days late? Period way too light? Sudden food cravings?

We have all had that panic moment of “There is no way… but is there?” Calling your girl friends letting them talk you out of the panic with the sound advice of “It just cant be,” “I’m sure its just stress,” “You used protection right,” “It’s probably nothing just wait a few more days.”

I mean, we would all be smart to just keep a back up stash of the pregnancy tests to put these moments to bed, but who wants that moment of walking up to the counter to buy the pregnancy test. Your mind keeps saying “I am doing the right thing,”  but every one can see you and your pregnancy test. The cashier’s face is always filled with judgement and then you have to go home and pee on a stick. Rite Aid has been my worst experience with pregnancy tests. Wether I am buying them for my friends, or for myself, the staff at my local Rite Aid makes me feel the way I imagine I would feel if my grandmother discovered I worked in the porn industry.

Sometimes it just seems easier to get mad.

• Plan B and pregnancy tests are both wildly expensive, and both of these are costs men do not have to deal with. These purchase are not unheard of for sexually active women.
• STI fear from the men that try to sneak it off mid act because they “can’t cum with it on.” We know to have protected sex, and being on some sort of contraceptive aside from condoms is smart, but they do not prevent the paranoia.  So now what? We are supposed to deal with the pregnancy and STI fear? Those tests can run hundreds of dollars each.
• The slut shaming of the and the doctor always asks you how many sexual partners you have with a surprised look a female that says any number above 3. Are we serious people? 3 sexual partners a year is less than one new person every 4 months. For someone not in a relationship, this is low considering the atmosphere that you go out to find a companion every few weekends and it is normal to have sex with someone with in the first handful of dates.

I remember when I first became sexually active, I was afraid. Afraid of buying condoms. Afraid of having to say no multiple times. Afraid of being pregnant. Afraid of buying the test. Afraid of peeing on the test. Afraid of buying Plan B. Afraid of every STI test after a sex partner. Then I got tired of it. I practice safe and protected sex. I get my STI check up after each sexual partner, and I take birth control and I only have sex with consenting partners. I buy tests for friends and encourage them to stay healthy.

Men do not have to think about many of these things, and even broaching these topics makes them short circuit. We need to be more open and more respectful to each other. Instead of the judgmental face when purchasing Plan B, the cashier can say “have a great day”, or “glad to see you’re responsible.”  Men can listen and try to hear out women while not assuming that every mention of something that made them uncomfortable meant the female was trying to “entrap” them. Safe sex is fun. Let’s not make it more than it has to be, but not belittle people for being responsible.